Thursday, June 11, 2009



Last night my husband brought up that dreaded "D" word. No, not D-I-V-O-R-C-E, but that other word. We were sitting on the couch watching our favorite soap, when he let it slip past his lips, "Maybe you should think about getting your hair DYED." Not one for knowing when it's best to shut up, he continued on with, "How about black, That's your hair color isn't it?" BLACK! My hair has never been black! Am I getting so grey that he can't even remember that my natural color is dark brown? (at least he didn't suggest blond or I would have clipped him over the head with the TV remote) Is he worried that it might reflect badly on him to be seen with an older woman?

I have been going  aux natural for several years now but I am reaching the point where my streaks can no longer be considered what we joking refer to as "highlights" or the "tinsel effect". At 52 I am looking at being completely grey, or in my case, "silver", within the next five years. Much too young. My mom died at age 47 with not a grey hair on her head, so I must have inherited the "silver" gene from my grandmother, although she waited until she was much older before sporting her silver locks.

Should I cave to the pressure and join the masses flocking to the beauty parlor for a chemical enhancement only to return every month or two for a touch up...hummm...not my "Forte!" As someone who is trying to find more natural ways of cleaning my hair-check the no poo movement- a chemical bath on my head...not very appealing. Do I really want a Susan Boyle makeover or do I want to remain true to my authentic self?

As for my husband, did he not agree...for better or for worse... and things can get a lot worse. I could toss the makeup and start wearing my silver locks in a granny bun or better still, I can be "Boyled" and high maintenance means $$$$$$$. He might just come to regret he ever let that "D" word escape his lips.

What would you do?


  1. I say get some bright green kool aid and "dye" your hair with it to really freak your husband out! ;)

    No, but seriously, Marjean. Your hair is beautiful. And--it's yours. If you don't have a problem with it, I say keep it. When people dye their hair it never quite matches their skin tone. I, personally, think people look better with their natural color.

    Our culture is so obsessed with the image of youth. I'm only 36 and have grey hairs (I guess you might call it the tinsel effect!). People no longer stare at my breasts, they stare at my hair. heehee! But I don't care. Well, just a little, but not enough for it to undermine who I am underneath it all.

    You're awesome!

  2. Thanks Jenell for your lovely comment. I too don't like the fake look. Hair dye on some women is OK ...they seem to pull it off nicely... but on most women, well, it just looks ridiculous.

    If I ever do take the step I'm thinking of going favorite color.

    Speaking of fake...what's up with these imitation nails I'm seeing everywhere?

  3. Marjean...I think you are a Goddess...I LOVE your hair!! I think the grey is a lovely effect -- it's a badge of honour, as far as I'm stretch marks and droopy boobs *grin*

    I must confess to being One Who Dyes -- more for effect than camoflage (sp?) (the grey is creeping in but there isn't enough of it yet to be stylish!) - I do a bright red thing which appeals to my inner rebel...but I'm looking forward to the day where I can sport my silver locks with pride...

    I'm with something outlandish (you can get temporary rinses) see how hubby likes it!! *sigh* Men. Gotta love 'em...

    ~much love~

  4. Mom, of course I think you look beautiful. Actually, it's funny you should be thinking about hair, because I have been too. Getting real tired of taking care of my long locks and might take the plunge this weekend and get a sort of bob cut . . . and this naturally led me to think about hair color.

    I must say, it's no wonder that Dad would be thinking about hair dye while watching your soap show. The last time I saw one there weren't exactly any women you could call natural on the show. Perhaps Dad needs a lesson on body image and the media!

  5. Hi mom. I chopped off my hair. Here's a link to show you the inspiration (and it's exact what I ended up with except for the blonde part, but I'm thinking about highlights in the future:):

    I'm very happy it!

  6. I love your hair- it is beautiful :) If dyeing your hair is something you are not comfortable with, then I agree- don't do it :)

    My mother dyes her hair, and has for years. I assumed it was because of greys... and the other day she informed me (quite indignantly lol) that it was because her natural hair colour was boring. She actually doesn't have much grey yet! hah.

    I get highlights in my hair... i like them (as my mom said, my natural colour is pretty mousy). Aveda has probably the less-chemical laden dyes out there right now (without using something like henna).

    I agree with Jenell- women have so much body image stuff to deal with- I love that you are taking a stand! Your grey is beautiful, and it is wonderful to reclaim it!

  7. Thanks Eco Yogini. Now if only I could put you in touch with my older sister who, known for her "bluntness", doesn't like my hair especially the length, and doesn't mind telling me I need to cut it short. That's one reason I'm letting it grow...when someone tells me I "need" to do something I tend to dig in my heels and do just the opposite. My other three sisters never comment on it at all...not sure if they just don't think anything of it or if they subscribe to "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!"

  8. I've just discovered your wonderful blog (YAY!)and you (double YAY!)and I think you look absolutely beautiful. You suit your lovely hair and it suits you, so give that husband of yours a clip with the remote anyway and tell him to look at you properly. I'll bet he swoons in delight!

  9. Thanks Tessa for the laugh and I will make sure he reads all the lovely comments I've received. Maybe I should serve him some spicy hot sauce to go with all that "crow" he's going to be eating!

    Don't mess with a Goddess!

  10. I think your hair is beautiful! It is absolutely Goddess hair!

    Whenever my husband asks me to do something about my appearance that I don't think is neccesary, I come up with something creative for him to do in wax his back (or other "areas"), get his ear pierced or liposuction (okay, maybe a little over the top...but he knew I was trying to make a point).

    He usually completely forgets about whatever he suggested.

  11. I agree with everyone else, you're beautiful and your hair is gorgeous !