Wednesday, September 16, 2009



Jamie’s question this week , “How would you like to stretch ,” was a difficult one for me causing considerable “mulling it over” in my mind. I kept trying to come up with something that would bridge the physical, emotional and spiritual side of me that would sound deep and introspective
in a post but, crap, I wasn’t really feeling the need to do any inner self searching this morning.. I scraped that idea in search for something else and the answer came to me the moment my daycare kiddies started arriving this morning. It was as clear to me as the wrinkles on my face. After 19 years of seeing children transform from perfectly wonderful little beings into demanding, wining little brats the moment “the parent” enters the scene, I have come up with what I would like to post in response to;

“How would you like to stretch?”

My stretch is this…and I’m going way out on a limb here with a radical concept …one that a lot of Mommies and Daddies are not going to like, but…please, just learn how to say no to your kids. Start when they are young . Set limits on what is tolerable behavior and have consequences for inappropriate behavior and be consistent with it so they will learn that “no” really means no, and not “no, only until I pitch a good fit.” Practice saying it but say it with conviction and without feeling guilt because you didn’t fulfill their every whim. It will get easier.

Will saying no scar them for life…no.

Will they like it…not a bit, but they will get over it.

Will they learn that pitching a fit will not get them what they want…yes. The quicker they learn this the sooner they will stop having tantrums and be happier for it and you can get on with spending some real quality “peaceful” time together.

Don’t be foolish enough to believe the term “terrible twos” applies to just two year olds and that they will magically outgrow throwing fits when they turn three. Tantrums generally start around 15 months and can last for many years unless they learn that "pitching a good one" is not going to gain them anything.

There, now I have that off my chest I can get on with some real “inner thinking.”


  1. As Marisa wishes for herself and others, I too wish for her...

    blogging at

  2. As Marisa wishes for herself, so i wish for her also.

  3. As Marisa wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

  4. What Marisa wishes for herself, so I wish for her also. I must say this is a refreshing post, I myself do not have any children but i know my friends have a hard time saying no to their kids, they say sometimes it is just not worth the fight. I remember one of my Aunts used to have no problem telling me no, actually her famous saying was "how does it feel to want?" everytime we would want something.. Blessings to you.

  5. Such good sound advice! I can tell there is wisdom in you. I hope all those young parents read carefully!

  6. as Marisa wishes for herself, so I wish for her also. :)

  7. I have no problem saying no. Bring on the fits, I can handle it! I think I am one of the few Mom's that can take my kids into Target and walk out without buying them anything. I have done this since the beginning of child rearing. Before my kids were born I saw an episode of Dr. Phil where the Mom never said No. Her daughter had a bedroom just for her toys...she was so spoiled and bratty. I was horrified and swore that would never happen to me. So far so good.

  8. as Marisa wishes for herself and others, I too wish for her...

    no is a fabulous word for all of us to learn and practice. although now i can only think about the movie "yes, man." ;-)

  9. I couldn't agree more. Indulging a child is doing a huge disservice to them. How will they behave out in the world, at a job? When their boss tells them no, will they pitch a fit then too? Children need boundaries, structure and strong, loving parents who aren't afraid to say no and mean it...the FIRST TIME. Well written and most agreed!

  10. AS Marisa wishes for herself (and others), so I do too wish for her. :)

    My own mother was a "no until you throw a fit" parent, while my dad was a "no means no" parent. Funny how the interaction with them was so different. I always knew how far I could push Mother, but never even tried with Dad ...

  11. Great insight, may all your wishes come true.

  12. As Marisa wishes for herself, so I wish for her also. :)

    I agree completely!

  13. Well said!!! No is not a four letter word. Thanks for your lovely comments on my blog!

  14. As Marisa wishes for herself I so wish for her as well.

  15. Hi Marisa,

    Thanks for the comment. Nothing wrong with saying, "No." It's a good way to make room for the yes's! I wish for you to keep stretching and saying things you feel are radical!


  16. As Marisa wishes for herself I so wish for her as well.